mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
