normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
