This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize