So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
