i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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