yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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