My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
