Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
