I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
