You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize