his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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