Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
