I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
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I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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