Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
