honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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