and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
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my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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