Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
