5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
