i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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