We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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