I heard we made out
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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