Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize