I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
