At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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