paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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