I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize