right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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