I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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