Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
