I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
