dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
