elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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