She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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