I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
me + whiskey = a bad person
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
