Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
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she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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