I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
