I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
