Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
