I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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