is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
