Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize