i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
