Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
only if we run a train.
done.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
