But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
