I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I need moral support for this bender
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
