I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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