You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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