That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
