I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Alive.
So much puke
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
