I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I pour the whiskey from now on
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