How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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