New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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