...so i touched it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
