She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
