yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
