I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
