She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
