Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
