I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
