she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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