My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A bitchslap is in order.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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