worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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