By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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