He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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