OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
