wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
