I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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