Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
