Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize