My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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