We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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